


Lonely cowboys

by melethnin



Category: All Elite Wrestling, Being The Elite (Web Series), Professional Wrestling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, If you want - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mostly Gen, just to be sure because it's hangman, we are the elite we are bad at communicating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27530350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melethnin/pseuds/melethnin
Summary: Adam didn't get the chance to congratulate the Bucks when they were celebrating in the ring with Kenny, so he tries to do it after the show.It does not go well.Set after Full Gear 2020.
Relationships: Adam Page & Matt Jackson, Adam Page & Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson, Adam Page & Nick Jackson, Adam Page/Nick Jackson, Matt Jackson/Adam Page
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	Lonely cowboys

**Author's Note:**

> aew: so page saved the bucks from ftr because he still cares about them  
> me, sobbing: he still cares about them

Full Gear was close to being over, and Adam Page was a man on a mission. Empty whiskey glass in one hand and struggling to shrug his shirt on with the other, he was making his way to the EVP locker room. More specifically, the one of the Young Bucks. They won the tag team titles, and he wanted to congratulate them. He tried to do it earlier, but when he was about to go out to the ring, he saw that Kenny had beaten him to the punch. The one time that Kenny was faster at getting to the ring, it had to be this time. Adam couldn’t go out there when Kenny was already there. He just couldn’t. 

All too soon he reached the dreaded door. Adam tried to take a deep breath. All his bravado seemed to leave his body at that. But it was time to mend all the burned bridges. Tell them he was sorry and hoping they would forget about him being not good enough for them. 

There just wasn’t an opportune time earlier, but it wasn’t too late. It couldn’t be. He hoped. 

He lifted one shaky hand to knock on their door and heard a faint ‘come in’ after the longest four seconds of his life. 

He could do this. 

Adam pushed the door open slowly and squeezed himself through the door, closing it behind himself quickly. 

“Hey, can I-” Matt cut him off quickly.

"What are _you_ doing here?" 

He didn’t expect that much vitriol to come from the other man. He desperately tried to not show how much that tone of voice hurt him. He probably deserved it after all. 

Matt was lying on the floor, still in full gear but sans sneakers, and in the process of propping himself up on his forearms as soon as he caught sight of him, very keenly keeping one leg still, even though he looked like he was about to blow a gasket, he was shaking from anger so badly. Nick was nowhere to be seen. 

Adam swallowed. 

“I wanted to congratulate you on your-” 

“Bullshit.” 

Matt glared incredulously at him. Adam awkwardly cleared his throat. 

“No, I really-” 

“Don’t give me that, okay. I saw you out there, waiting on FTR to attack us like cowards.” Matt sat up more in agitation, staring him down. “And you wanted to join them, didn’t you?” Adam desperately shook his head, clutching onto his whiskey glass like it was his only life support. 

“What are you trying to do here anyway, lull us into some false sense of security? Finish the job for them?” 

Adam felt tears spring to his eyes. He looked down quickly and shook his head, Matt didn’t need to see him cry like a baby right in front of him, just because he got yelled at a little bit. 

“I got your message loud and clear when you texted me to go fuck myself, you don’t need to rub it in in person. I got it, okay?” 

Wait, what? 

“…What are you talking about?” Adam asked thickly, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. This didn’t make any sense. He never said that; he just needed some space, and they would never give him any.

Matt was on his feet in a flash and shoved him back against the door frame. Adam gasped when his back hit the edge of the frame and he couldn’t help but look up into his counterparts’ angry expression. 

“Oh, were you so drunk that you don’t even remember, and I suppose I should believe that? You know! When we tried to reach out and talk to you? And I sent you a text? I was trying, okay!” Matt's voice broke. “And you threw it back in my face? God, sometimes I don’t even know why I bother anymore, when all of you are so goddamn ungrateful!” He visibly collected himself and then let out a loud scoff. 

“Brandon told me that you think that you’re just a prop for us? Well, maybe you were right.” 

He felt another stab deep in his gut. Adam didn’t mean to be ungrateful. He just wanted some space. He kept being the least successful member of the stable for years and he needed to get away from this group. His friends. Were they anymore? 

Probably not. 

Adam couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. Before he lowered his eyes in shame again, he thought he saw something flash in Matt’s eyes. Could it be regret? 

Probably not. 

Adam sniffled.

“You should get out of here.” The hand in his shirt relaxed and left his shirt all bunched up. Matt turned and hobbled away from him, leaving him by himself, apparently being done with him for good. 

“Yeah.” 

Adam let himself out, barely being able to suppress his sobs before he closed the door and ran out of there.

\------------------

“Matt, why did it sound like you were yelling at someone when I was in the shower?” 

Nick emerged from the adjacent bathroom, drying his hair with a towel, already looking annoyed. Matt picked at the carpet he had thrown himself back on after the door clicked shut with his fingers. 

“Matt.” 

“…Hangman was here.” Matt kept picking at the carpet.

“And?”

“He lied, I yelled at him just a little, he started crying and left.” 

Nick stared at his older brother. 

“You’re joking.” 

Matt shook his head, now starting to pick on the tape on his foot. Nick whacked him on the back of his head with his towel, hard enough to warrant a yelp of surprise.

“Why are you always such a dumbass” 

\------------

Hangman groaned. The sunlight was a bitch. It seemed that no matter what hotel room he slept in the sunlight always managed to find his face at the most inconvenient times. As in, every morning ever, in this never ending downward spiral of hell this year turned out to be. His nose was clogged up too, he couldn’t breathe properly through it. His body felt like he was in a car accident yesterday. He felt queasy. It was too hot around him, like he was sleeping next to a furnace. Which was something that only his drunk self would do, because when he was sober, he at least knew that he always ran hot and knew to avoid situations like this. And he never chose to pass out on the floor when he was sober either. But then again, maybe he was in a bed after all, the surface underneath him was way too soft. Which meant…

He squinted his eyes open and immediately came to regret it. Matt was sat on the couch adjacent to the bed staring at him, coffee cup in hand and ice pack on his left knee. 

“Morning.” 

He couldn’t fathom returning the greeting. Adam was not in his room, that much was clear. Something rustled behind him and Adam suddenly became hyperaware of the fact that there was in fact a person lying behind him that had an arm slung around his waist and was still snoring slightly. Adam scrambled up into a sitting position from the bed, hastily leaning back on the headboard. Nick, who was not an actual furnace, woke up from the commotion and squinted at him, glaring a little bit for being woken up so suddenly. Great, now both of the brothers were staring.

This was so awkward.

Adam was saved from having to start any conversation when Matt set his coffee mug down and started to limp over to the both of them, sitting down on the edge of the bed and putting one hand on Adams’ knee, patting it through the blanket.

“Do you remember last night?” he was asked softly. This was weird.

“You yelled at me.” Matt withdrew his hand and folded them in his lap, looking chastised. 

“No, I mean, do you remember what happened after… you left our locker room?” Hangman didn’t think he did. He stole the whiskey from the Dark Order after he left the locker room, and he couldn’t remember anything else. He gladly would’ve never looked at Matt ever again after yesterday if he was being honest, and yet, here they were. 

He shook his head. Matt tilted his head curiously and seemed to assess him for a moment. Then he nodded to the bathroom door.

“Do you want to take a shower before we talk? We were afraid that you were gonna throw up in it if we had stuck you in there last night, so we just dragged you to bed.” Nick snorted behind him. “Okay, Nick carried you to bed and I watched.” 

Adam tried to smile. 

“I don’t think we should…” 

Nick viciously poked him in the side. “Yeah we should. If yesterday showed us anything, it’s that we have a lot to talk about.” 

\---------------

Nick pulled him out of bed and basically shoved him into the bathroom, telling him to help himself with whatever. Adam sighed in exhaustion and turned to switch on the shower when he caught his reflection in the mirror. 

He looked horrible. His hair was in disarray and his curls stuck to his scalp on one side of his head. He had big dark circles under his eyes, they were really bloodshot, and it looked like he had been crying. He looked too pale under the bathroom lights. What on earth did he do last night?

Tearing himself away from his face he sluggishly turned the shower on and started to take off his clothes. Okay, Adam, think. How did he get in this situation? The longer he stood under the warm shower spray, the clearer his mind got. He somehow got back to the hotel on his own, didn’t he? 

_Maybe he should just stay in his hotel room for the rest of eternity, just him and his friend Jack Daniels. Who was waiting on him on a shelf next to the TV stand in his room. There was another bottle a while ago, where did it go? He snuck into the lair of the Dark Order and snuck out of it again. Did they see him? Who cared. He had his bottle! But then it disappeared._

_Hangman frowned._

_Now if only he could find that damn door that led to it. Where was his keycard? Hm, such a piece of shit, he couldn’t find it. Where was his phone? He just got a new one because he couldn’t find the old one either. Everything always went away. Maybe it was still in the arena? Nooo, he took an Uber here, didn’t he? Or did he walk? Man, at least he didn’t lose his mask, it was dangling on his arm._

_Piece of shit, this whole situation stank, he was such a piece of shit._

_Suddenly, the carpet on the floor started to attack his cowboy boots and he stumbled into the wall. Adam couldn’t help but giggle at the situation. Everything was spinning, just like if he was on a rollercoaster. People on rollercoasters were happy, right? Was he happy too? He was laughing, so he must be._

_"Hangman, is that you?" Oh no, oh no no no no. He just wanted to have an awful night in his own hotel room, with nothing but his whiskey by his side. No more talking. No one to yell at him anymore. Who yelled at him? Did they yell because he was happy?_

_A hand clapped onto his shoulder heavily. It was really cold, but it grounded him, the room stopped spinning so much. He was in a hallway on the second floor. Was his room even here? Wasn’t it on the third? Fourth?_

_A face came into his vision. It was his friend Nick! Nick would know where his keycard was! Nick was the best, he knew stuff. But wait, they were not friends anymore, were they? Had not been for a while, right? Adam pouted. At least Nick didn’t seem happy about the revelation either._

_“Matt told me what he said, are you alright?”_

_“M’fine.” Nick’s eyes were so blue, like the sky when you’re on a rollercoaster, screaming in happiness. But Nick kept frowning and the sky didn’t frown._

_“No offense, but you don’t look… fine.” Nicks shoulder looked like a nice place to rest on, so he tipped his head forward. His whole body seemed to follow without his consent. They stumbled, but Adam was caught with an arm and didn’t have to eat the floor. That was nice._

_“M’fine.” He mumbled again. Then he scowled. “The floor tried to fight me ‘n I don’t remember where my card-door-thingy is.”_

The door to the bathroom opened quietly. 

“Hey, don’t freak out, I brought you some clothes that don’t smell like puke. I’m gonna put them next to the sink, okay? Take as long as you need.” 

Nick closed the door behind himself quickly. Okay, so Nick found him eventually in the hallway. Obviously.

_“God, you’re really heavy.”_

_Adam hummed in agreement. People kept telling him he was gonna get a beer belly from all the alcohol he drank, so they were probably right._

_“How am I supposed to get this door open when you… you know what, screw it.”_

_There were some loud rhythmic noises coming from somewhere below them. Why was Nick trying to kick that door down? Was it in cahoots with the carpet? Was Nick defending his virtue? That was really sweet._

_The door opened._

_“Here’s your ice. And by the way I found someone.”_

_Who was Nick talking to? Hopefully it wasn’t him, Adam wouldn’t know what to do with a bunch of ice, he wasn’t a polar bear. A second arm came around his waist and he was shuffled further into a room. Was it his room? No, it couldn’t be, he was on another floor._

_“Why would you bring him here when he’s drunk?”_

_That was another voice. They didn’t seem happy. Maybe they should look into the sky more, be a little happier._

_“I wasn’t going to leave him out there. So stop your stupid posturing.”_

_Who was doing what? Adam realized he was being deposited on a couch, which made the room spin a little more again, he couldn’t find the brakes without Nick. But he tried to squint at the third person in the room. He knew him!_

_“Matt!”_

_Full of vigor, Adam jumped up and stumbled to Matt, extending his hands towards his shoulders and upon succeeding, shaking him out of excitement._

_“Matt! I was so sad when you yelled at me earlier, but it’s okay! I know you yell a lot! I stole some whiskey from the Dark Order. But I don’t understand why you were so mad. Did you know I lost my phone? I got a new one but I think I lost that one too.”_

_Adam leaned forward into a hug and rested his chin on the others’ shoulder. Nobody hugged him back, but that was okay. He was going to hug hard enough for the both of them._

_“I was trying to come out and celebrate with you guys, you know. You earned it.” Adam sniffed and held on tighter. “But then Kenny was there before me and I couldn’t go out there anymore, you know? I can’t.”_

_Adam didn’t feel like he was on a rollercoaster anymore. He felt like he always felt after a rollercoaster, vaguely sick to his stomach._

_But he really needed to tell them the truth, so everything came spilling out at once. He concentrated on his arm around Matt’s waist, he shouldn’t slur the words, this was the most important thing he would ever say, ever._

_“I’m so proud of you guys. And it hurts so much because I’m still the one y’all have to carry because I can’t win stuff on my own and I can’t see those things separately. And that makes me a piece of shit. But you guys are pieces of shit too, okay? I wanted you to second for me and you said no, and then you did it for Brandon anyway. I told you that I needed space and you guys ignored me. I kept saying really hurtful stuff and you guys wouldn’t leave me alone but didn’t listen anyway when you were around.”_

_After a long moment, a pair of arms shifted around him and squeezed him back tightly. A second pair of arms came down on his shoulders. They gently pulled him back from the hug. Matt brought his hands up to his face and wiped his thumbs over Adam’s wet cheeks._

_Matt looked sad._

_“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?”_

Oh god. 

If there was ever a moment in time when a hole should magically appear in a room and swallow a person whole, this was the time. He drunkenly poured his heart out and cried on Matt’s shoulder. 

Matt, who hated him. 

If yesterday evening wasn’t bad enough on its own, he could never look them in the eyes again. He should become a hermit, try to live in the woods again, like he did in spring. 

Adam quickly shut off the shower and grabbed a towel. He dressed himself as quickly as possible, erratically combing his hair with his fingers. Nick gave him a Young Bucks merch shirt. If there was a god out there, he knew he hated Adam.

He deposited the towel on the sink and bunched his old clothes into a ball. Maybe he could make a break for it when they weren’t paying attention. Adam pushed his ear on the door, listening for any sounds from the other room. 

It was really quiet. 

Maybe they were on a coffee run or getting some more ice from the receptionist. Now was the time to leave. He opened the door as quietly as he could, and he was only four feet from the door to the hallway when he heard a voice from the adjacent room.

“Adam? Come in here.” 

Shit.

Adam awkwardly moved into the main room, where Matt was sitting on the couch again, refilled coffee cup in hand. Nick clapped him on his shoulder, appearing out of nowhere and handing him a glass of water and a pill. 

“Here.” 

“What is that?”

“It’s just some Ibuprofen. We figured you might need it.” 

“Oh. Thanks.”

Adam kept standing in the middle of the room next to Nick, not knowing what he was expected to do. 

Matt sighed deeply. “Sit down, Adam.” 

He hesitantly sat down next to Matt on the couch, depositing his clothes next to him and keeping a respectful distance. Nick sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the coffee table.

“So.” 

“So.” 

Adam took the pill and swallowed it quickly with a gulp of water to avoid saying anything stupid. He had already said enough embarrassing things last night.

“Matt and I have been talking about not making rash decisions anymore, especially when it comes communication. For example, doing something stupid and going over the head of the other one for it.” Nick took a moment to glower in Matt’s direction. Matt shrank a little bit further down in his seat. 

“I found you yesterday in the hallway mumbling to yourself about amusement parks when I was getting some more ice for his knee.” 

Adam hesitated for a moment.

“Yes, I think I remember that.” 

“All of us have been throwing some wild accusations and hurtful things around that we really need to talk about, that we haven’t ever discussed. And that’s stupid, considering some of it was over a year ago.” 

So they were really doing this. They were gonna let him down gently once and for all, hope to be working with you in the future, no hard feelings, but never talk to us outside of work again. They’d give him what they thought he really wanted to hear, to call quits on their relationship. He’d be free. 

Adam tried to steel himself, just like last evening, but the knot in his stomach wound itself tighter and tighter with every passing second. He realized a while ago that there was no way to be get rid of your friends, your friends would stick with you no matter what and you’d get through everything together. Unless you told them you hated them and couldn’t bear to be around them and they couldn’t figure out you were lying and projecting and trying to distract yourself from your self-hatred. That was the way of the world.

“Soo….” Matt interrupted his internal breakdown, clearly not comfortable in this situation either. Adam stayed silent.

Matt fidgeted. 

Nick gently kicked him in his uninjured leg. 

“Okay! I’m sorry for everything I said last night. I was angry and I was looking to unload my anger onto someone else and that wasn’t fair.” 

Hangman looked down at his borrowed pants and nodded. Yeah, that was shitty.

“Yesterday you said that you lost your phone a couple of weeks ago, is that true?” Hangman nodded gingerly, not knowing where this was going. “So when you texted me about a month ago that our friendship is over and that you never wanted to speak to me again… was that you? Do you remember that?” 

He sharply looked up at that and stared at Matt with wide eyes. He didn’t do that. He thought. He wouldn’t.

So he shook his head and looked back down on his knees, not expecting them to believe him. “Matt, I swear, I didn’t.” 

“Okay.”

Matt took a deep breath. 

“I’m going to say something important now and I need you to listen. Because by god, I am never going to say anything like that ever again. Please look at me.” Adam shook his head again and kept looking down. They could leave him with this tiny shred of dignity that he had left. They didn’t need to see the heartbreak in his eyes when they told him to leave and never come back. 

“Adam, please look at me.” 

He slowly started to shake his head again when Matt suddenly scooted closer to him and Nick stepped over the coffee table, two pairs of hands on him all of a sudden. Nick gripped his leg and his waist, plastering himself to his backside, stopping him from jumping up and bolting from the room. Matt gently took his face in his hands, making him look up and staring into his eyes. Adam stared back. 

“Now listen very closely. You are not a prop of any kind to us, nor have you ever been. We are sorry if we made you feel like that. You are our friend.” Adam squeezed his eyes shut and bit back a sob. “No, listen to me. We can still go our separate ways after this if you want. The Elite? That’s not just a stable name to us, okay? That’s a group of our best friends in the world, which is why it’s so important to us. This isn’t some kind of prestige thing. We love you, dude.” 

He sniffled and kept looking into Matt’s face, his vision blurry from the tears. Nick squeezed him into a firmer hug from behind. 

“We need you to talk to us. Brandon yelled at us because we wouldn’t second for him and we just… didn’t know it was a big deal for you guys. He told us you were hurt when we said we wouldn’t come out with you. We’re not doing this to be petty or anything. So please talk to us, alright? We promise we'll try to listen more.” When Nick was talking to him, Matt started carding his hands softly through his hair and brought his face closer to touch his forehead to Adam's, making them both close their eyes in the process. 

“We never want to hear you call yourself a piece of shit ever again, either. You’re not. You’re good. God, Adam, you’re so good. You’ll get to the top of the mountain one day, easily and sober and without us, but we’ll be there to celebrate with you. If you want.” 

Matt pulled back and softly kissed him on his forehead, while at the same time he felt Nick lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. Adam whimpered; he couldn’t explain where this was all coming from. He got pulled closer by Matt afterwards, making him lean more into him and making Nick scoot along. 

"Thank you for saving me from getting my ankle even more messed up, too. If you want, you can still leave, and we won’t hold it against you. We love you no matter what."

Adam managed to smile a bit through his tears. He didn’t move an inch.

“I’m sorry for hugging you too hard when I was drunk. I know you hate it.” He mumbled into Matt’s shoulder. Both of the Bucks barked out a laugh. 

“God, out of all the things that were said and done, you don’t have to be sorry about that, really.” Nick chuckled.

Adam smiled fully.

“I also didn’t lurk in the background after your win to attack you guys alongside FTR.” 

“Yeah, I figured. They’re the worst and I was angry and not thinking clearly and I’m sorry about that too.” 

“I mean, I was even standing in the babyface tunnel, so.” Matt pinched him gently.

“Okay, don’t test me.”


End file.
